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| MAAG WHEELS CT's Top Team Biking to Beat Multiple Sclerosis |
blurry-eyed biking hero had jumped out an open window after realizing what his doctor’s name spelled backwards was. Luckily for him, he was on the first floor and landed quite safely on, you guessed it…a bike, which is where Chapter 3 of our story picks up…] Billy the Biker: (Half-crazed, half-triumphant; wearing a hospital gown) So long, psycho doctor! I’m gonna make like a rock, and ROLL!! [Billy starts biking in the parking lot looking for the exit to the street, but realizes after 8 seconds that it’s WAY too cold to ride when it’s only 20 degrees outside, especially in an open-back hospital gown. He circles back and starts heading towards his room to get his clothes but then sees his doctor-masquerading Inner Voice nemesis waiting for him in the window with the smile of a madman.] Billy: (Lips blue, teeth chattering, nostril hairs frozen; thinking out loud) I, I, I, I cccan’t gggo bbbback thththere. Hhhhheee’ll gggget mmmee. Iffff I jjjust bbbike fffast ennnough and kkkeeep mmmy cccccccadence uuuup, I, I, I, shshshould bbbbee abbbble ttttto sssssstay wwwwwarm. [Our shivering biker turns back around towards the parking lot and again tries to find the street. Unable to see very well due to the half-inch icicles forming on his eyelashes, he collides into a parked car, flips over his bars, and lands exposed-derriere-side down on the windshield. The driver, less than pleased at this view, gets out of the car and decides to do something about it.] Driver: (In a stern, upset voice) Boy, you’re in a heap of trouble. Do you know who I am? Billy: (Nearing hypothermia) Nnnnnnno, bbbbbuuttt I’m, I’m, I’m cccccccoldddd. Whwhwhwhat evvvver hhhhhapppppennned ttttto thththtat Ggggglobbbbal Wwwwwwwarmmmming? Driver: (Still stern and slightly irritated at the question) Where’ve ya been, in a cave? Don’t ya know that our fragile planet just had her hottest January ever? [The driver helps our frozen biker off the hood of the car. As his numb, bare feet reach the icy ground, he hears a clicking sound and suddenly can not move his hands any more.] Driver: Well, Mr. Caveman, whatever you’re name is, I’m Officer Brakefast and you’re under arrest. Get in the back. Billy: Your name’s a meal? Officer Brakefast: Not BREAKfast…BRAKEfast, as in what you shoulda done before ya hit my cruiser. Now get in there! [Officer Brakefast puts our icy biker in the back of the patrol car and his bike in the trunk, gets in front, and starts heading to the police station.] Officer Brakefast: Well Mr. Ice Lashes, I’ve gotta read you your rights: -You have the right to join your biking buddies for the FIRST TRAINING RIDE of the season on SATURDAY, MARCH 10, 2007 at 9:00 AM starting from #8 Griffin Center in Windsor. -You have the right to ride the 10- or 25-mile route on that day. -You have the right to get your bike tuned up at your favorite bike shop before you go riding. If you do not have a favorite bike shop, now’s the time to find a favorite bike shop. -You have the right to buy new biking clothes to replace your old, ratty, torn-up 10-year old shorts and jerseys. -You have the right to check all your gear like shoes, jerseys, helmet, bike rack, and air pump, to ensure they still fit and work properly. Do you understand these rights? Billy: (Still frozen with icicles dangling from his eyelashes) Ttttttooooo cccccccolddddd tttttooo gggggggooo bbbbbbikkkkingg. Officer: Well, we’re at the station. I’m sure you’ll get nice and warm in this cozy little room we have for you. [Officer Brakefast locks our frosty biker in the holding cell and goes off to fill out some paper work and eat a doughnut. Our jailbird biker hears another lawbreaker sharing the cell with him, although the icicles prevent our felonious biker from seeing him.] Cellmate: (With a slightly familiar voice) Whataya in for? Billy: I thththink fffor bbbikking wwwhen it’s tttoooo ccccoldd. How ‘bbbout you? Cellmate: Impersonating a doctor. Billy: (Fearing the worst, SCREAMING like a banshee ) OH NO…NOT YOU AGAIN!! AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!! OFFICER!! HELP ME!! HELP!! HELP!! |